Thursday, August 13, 2009


Dreams....This word contains so much, so many meanings...our sleep thoughts...our hopes for the future...such a HUGE word when it comes to all that it encompasses.

I am a big dreamer, I always have been. I remember as a little girl drifting off to dreamland using my imagination to dream up wonderful things for my future. I have always loved weddings, travel, decorating, sewing & crafting, so many things. So I would dream up these a d v e n t u r e o u s, world covering trips, design an amazing room, or create a breathtaking wedding dress as I fell asleep each night. (Now that I am older, I am normally too exhausted to dream up anything as I am falling to sleep. Within a few moments of my head hitting my pillow I am already heading toward the dreamworld of sleep!)

Whenever I remember my dreams (from the dreamworld of sleep) they are normally extremely weird, however, sometimes I will have a wonderful dream. The dream feels so real in the moment and is beautiful in every way...that is until I wake up and realize it was all just a dream. I had a wonderful dream a few nights ago that

When the doctor told me I didn't believe him due to the fact that Aunt Flo had just been here for a visit, so it was impossible (funny how real it feels, so reality came right into the dreamworld) but the doctor said I was truly pregnant and I was so excited. But, alas

and realized that it was all a dream.

I feel like God has really given me a TON of strength and patience in this area. Of coarse I hope and dream that it could happen each month, but I realize that my body doesn't work properly and it would truly take a miracle. I am also very content with having Kevin and me time and me time right now. We are taking advantage of every opportunity to get away, travel, and do all sorts of fun things that are not nearly as easy once you have kids. But still, it was wonderful to have the dream. I know why I had seems like EVERYONE I know has recently had a baby or are pregnant right now.

I am truly happy for my friends and I rejoice with them as they find out they are pregnant and about to welcome a new life into the world. I would
want any of them to go through what I am, but it is still harder than I like to admit to myself to see it everywhere around me. All the joy and excitement, the overflowing love & nerves as they are starting out on this journey-whether it be their first child or not-each moment is so precious and miraculous.

I recently read an article that said that being pregnant and having lots of children is a "trend" right now. What? How can having babies be a trend? Having babies is one of those beautiful miracles of everyday life. Like how our bodies function, when working properly, to make our daily existance possible. For example: my brain is telling my fingers what to do to make typing this blog second nature. It just happens naturally (well, the typing knowledge comes as second nature because my dad insisited we know how to type at an early age
asdf jkl;
asdf jkl;
the joys of learing typing!!) but the ability to learn that comes from this amazing body and brain that God created.

So why is it that sometimes our bodies don't work properly? Why is it that my sister has to take insulin and why must she suffer from blackouts and seizures. Why doesn't my reproductive system work like it should. Why do some of us have to deal with skin that is prone to acne? (Even passed those horrible teen and preteen years when you think you are going to die-it doesn't really get easier when you are an adult and still have that mini Mount Everest appear on your face or body!) (I know that can seem like such a miniscule thing in the scheme of life-there are so many worse problems out there-but acne can really change the way you feel about yourself and the way the world looks at you-which whether you want to admit it our not-can really have a huge effect on your view of yourself as well!)

I don't think I will ever understand why these things happen, but I hope that I am always able to see that no matter happens, whatever we are going through, God loves us and cares for us. Our daily lives are important to Him. He knows what we are going through and feels it with us, and is there to comfort us and give us strength along the way. So whether we are in a time of mourning or celebration, suffering or rejoicing, crying or laughing, God is always there and gives us hope for each moment and each step along the way as we strive to make it to our dreams. I think God gives us the ability to dream so that there is always something more to look forward to.
What a great God we have!
So in the end, no matter what we are going through right now, we are able to dream about something more-whatever that dream may be-and look forward to what the future may hold for us...or if we are living that dream at this moment, we are able to appreciate it because of all that we went through along the way to get to that dream!


Mandi said...

I pray your dream comes true soon, Em!

Carrie said...

This is so beautifully written and you are a beautiful person! I know you will be an awesome mom!